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Laughing and smiling is good daily medicine



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Image Hosted by ImageShack.usOH YEAH? Well, you can just KISS MY FURRY LITTLE ASS!!!

 

 

 


****Hockey Quotes****


"I play a position where you make mistakes. The only people who don't make them at hockey games are the ones watching." - Patrick Roy

"Goaltending is a normal job, sure. How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?” - Jacques Plante

"I'm just like 7-11....I'm always open" - Luc Robitaille
 


****Sexual Revolution****
 
Pay back?
Never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is alldear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

Alright girls. Forward this this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it.

Men, forward this because you have balls.

 


****Amusing SCAM SPAM****
 
 
Exhibit A: Your typical third world financial scam SPAM
Exhibit B: Take note of the last sentence!

GUTEN TAG Please i hope you would not be embarassed by this.actually i am a german, who got married to a nigerian man 16 years ago,that was in 1988.my husband is someone that can be described as rich when he was alive.he was well acquainted with business and thus had several companies which include ABOMAR gas and oil limited ,andy best trransporting agencies as well as a large palm plantation.infact upon my husbands death am estimation of his asset was .2MILLION.inaddition to the liquid cash which is about .6million in the bank.please you have to know that consequent upon my husbands death,his family members gathered and are threatning to strip of all the financial earnings despite the fact that our marriage was contracted under the required statutory provisions of the act which specifies that upon the death of the husband the wife shall inherit all the belongings of the deceased husband. please sir, i want you to help me so as to tranfer the raw cash into an account before the family members come up with whatever africanism ideas the have.please i urgently require your help.please contact me immediately. i strongly belive i can bank on you

 

 

 


Four Women in a Car

     Four women were driving across the country. Each one
     was from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Oregon and
     California.
     
     Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho
     started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the
     window.
     
     "What the heck are you doing?" demanded the Californian.
     
      "We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am
     just sick of looking at them!"

      A moment later, the gal from Nebraska began pulling
      ears of corn from her bag and tossing them from the window.
     
     "What are you doing that for?" asked the lady from
     Oregon.
     
     "We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am
     just sick of looking at them!"
     
     Inspired, the lady from Oregon opened the car door
     and pushed the Californian out.